Seeing as I now have a timetable and an almost-spotless room, I think it is time to make good on my plans for a successful writing routine. Today was a good day for starting that routine.

After packing a bag with my laptop, a notepad for scribbling notes, a planner, and my iPhone that is only useful for playing music, I found a cafe in a small garden center fifteen minutes away from my home that is rather nice. Dad came with me for the walk and drink, as we really had to scout to find a nearby cafe that was suitable. I then ordered a pot of tea, and opened my Scrivener file for Roses for Margaret for the first time in probably half a year.

I was shocked at the state of my novel. Really. Most of the notes I wrote down on my notepad were basically “Wtf” (which I never usually say or write, but in this case it warranted some confused swearing) and lots of question marks and exclamation points. It really is a mess. Not necessarily the writing, but the way I formatted it; the chapter numbers are off completely (going from chapter 15 to chapter 21 with no chapters in between), there are no chapter numbers on the actual documents – or at least none that make sense, as though things have been cut and pasted all over the place – and the plot is really confused. I have a character called Melissa that gets introduced around chapter 15 briefly, and then she doesn’t get mentioned for ages, and then a couple of chapters later she is made out to be Margaret’s best friend…

I don’t know what’s going on with it, as last time I read it through I thought it was okay and made sense (but then again, last time I read it my brain was very foggy and tired and it probably looked about right then to my confused mind). My first thought was that some of my chapters and files had been accidentally deleted or corrupted, but I think that’s a rather far-fetched idea; most likely it was just me and my then-mushy brain thinking that it was cohesive.

I’ve been slowly working through RFM, editing slightly and ordering the chapters and numbers correctly. I’ve sorted out the Melissa dilemma (kind of – I may need some more of her in future chapters) and even came up with an ending! That’s a victory for me, as I’ve been struggling to come up with an ending I’m happy with for ages. Endings aren’t my strongest point, I’m better at starting stories than finishing them, but I think this ending will have a ray of hope.

I’ve also realised what the key themes of Margaret are; friendship, coming of age, lesbian sexuality, high school, obsession, illness, loneliness, and Asperger’s. Now that these words are fixed in place, I hope I can do the themes justice.

I’m still getting creative ideas, despite my decline in health; I’ve recently been diagnosed with ME and fibromyalgia by my doctor, which is a relief to know that my chronic fatigue problems have a name, rather than just being “in my head” as mental health specialists would say… I have a treatment plan with supplements to take and a ketogenic diet to follow, so I’m hopeful that I will make an improvement soon.

Writing-wise, with my fatigue conditions being as they are recently, I honestly think writing anything longer than a novella is beyond me, at least for now. When I think back to writing “When the Summer Ends” I’m sometimes amazed at how much I managed to write – over three hundred pages and 120,000 words! Everything since has been a struggle – an enjoyable but sometimes frustrating struggle at that – with my word counts only just making 60,000 when I push myself hard.

I haven’t been writing for a long while, so my goal for now is to focus on getting college done, and then I can really start thinking about writing.

Roses for Margaret is first on my list, as I have a rota for what I want to achieve in the next few years, writing and costuming wise. I’m planning on making the story shorter that I originally intended, and for the price I sell my books, I don’t think it’s a bad idea. It was originally going to be titled “Margaret’s School”, so I think it’s fitting that the story is going to follow Margaret’s life for her school years.